Wednesday, October 20, 2004 :::
 


i just finished decorating my bunk's off file. not surprisingly, i'm left doing it alone. but never too artistically inclined, i came up with something probably only i will understand.


when the rest of my platoon mates came by later to look at all the 4 bunks' files, they all oohed and aahed over the other files. and when they came to mine, they cast a critical eye on it and remarked condescendingly, ' what's this? ' or ' this makes no sense '.


i was embarrassed. i felt humiliated. i was made to belittle my own self. not only because i did it alone with any active help, but really it cut me because i really did do my best. and then it struck me.


i'm sorry jacq. your sketch of shrek did look like shrek. i was only trying to incite laughter when i said it looked more like yoda. and i saw the look on your face when i said that. i now realise, it must have hurt you. i'm sorry.


it was wrong of me to deride your work. i feel the harrow all the same. furthermore and more distressingly, i shouldn't have bad-mouthed it in all view. it must have been worse for you. ( my camp mates are notoriously quick to criticize and even quicker to forget ). i take back the words, but the pain i wouldn't be able to take back. i'm so glad eventually melvin did say it looked like shrek. your heart seemed to have lifted at his words. i wish i was the one who said that.


i'm still growing, still learning. i sometimes still do and say innnocuous things that hurt others without even being aware of it. but now i've learnt, in a pretty retribution kind of way, that when someone asks opinons on something they have spent considerable effort on, be it a dish, a tune or a poem, don't ever dimiss it lightly, or worse, make a joke out of it.


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::: posted by Richard Wan at 9:21 PM